Why focussing on customer satisfaction won't work

Over in Ruralshire, Inspector Gadget today posted on the subject of complaints about the Police. His bosses demand a 75% success rate in resloving complaints. Here's why he can't achieve it.
http://inspectorgadget.wordpress.com/2010/01/20/police-complaints-the-shocking-truth/
"As the Duty Inspector, I once took TWO complaints on one shift.

1. Someone in the High Street phoned to complain that a police vehicle on blues and two’s was driving too fast to an emergency call.

2. Later, the person who had called the police to that emergency, complained that patrols didn’t arrive fast enough.

Who was right? Both can’t be. Hence, 50% of all the people who complained that night were not satisfied with the police response to their complaint. My target is that 75% have to be satisfied, despite the numbers of complaints. Oh dear. I failed.

The paperwork for those two complaints ran into 15 pages and I had to note down their ethnicity! (why?)

Bonkers."